This flaming lead ball
rests on my heart
like a good day
at the batting cage
keep swinging low
to
high
holding on to tight
to connect
i just keep swinging low
but somewhere in the voice
i discern the pain and know
he invites me to connect
with that flaming lead life-
story to swallow
a show for the fans
at this big game
some one
is keeping score
but this is practice
now
so i am just trying
connection
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Thursday, May 12, 2005
how big
is my question is
eyes on the world
I struggle
sitting here sharing
looking
i will
i want
to know
to love
Him
asking is not the wrong
way to open
up
the crown
resting on our head
unknown
to one who does
not look
continuously
i write you
to another day
look on
seeing
we breathe
for it all
slowly
in
h aleing
being
now
to
late oneself
overnight
at cost
you give
life
eyes on the world
I struggle
sitting here sharing
looking
i will
i want
to know
to love
Him
asking is not the wrong
way to open
up
the crown
resting on our head
unknown
to one who does
not look
continuously
i write you
to another day
look on
seeing
we breathe
for it all
slowly
in
h aleing
being
now
to
late oneself
overnight
at cost
you give
life
Monday, May 09, 2005
a new month
A new month is in the world. Iyar. Aleph yud yud reish. Aleph one multitude in totality complete. The beginning middle and end to all. Yud the hand the head and the key to the heart. Yud another other and multiple one? The second implies what the first should have done. Reish is the heel to the two heads. The fear of losing his love and being to late. We all have the crown of the Torah as our fate.
one singular true
ten men of valour
ten numbers of you
200 beginings
one singular true
ten men of valour
ten numbers of you
200 beginings
Sunday, May 08, 2005
sitting
sitting empty of
all
life abounding
in veins
on the floor
another simple
mystery puzzle
life
asking
where
you came
from
where
you go
feeling some
time
not allwayis now
who can know
to hold the shaking
string of the world's belt
loopd round a
stomach of necessity
eating through it all
can I give up
to this feeling
not in me
to decide the fate
the feeling
seeing
not of in
of out
being
strong
conquered
again
falling
to my knees
for pleasure
crippling
loosing
grip of my
foundation
i am
still
here
once
again
thinking and typing and trying to make sense of it all. Not being blessed with a clear inderstanding I attempt, to uphold a vision abused for long sessions of objects made from people I may cling temporarily to tasteless vision but the good will prevail or unvail what i truly seek sleek beauty in the world revital vitils of flesh and spirit lighter than touch and hovering to air.
laughter abound in the halls of transcendent knowing. I hear only echoes of this dream . yet stubborn I cling to only hope that which I fantasize I realize is of naught but in time I know not how it will come but alas I know not how you will come or anything of that matter will come to be in my space I am here with what is presented and waiting for enlightenment.
work
struggle
freedom
work
little
eden
sweat
birth eating
bless curse
feetom
fatom foo ever
ending
now still onedering
isness less being
equal to pesto mustard screeching?
the words may be
the moment may seem
to be ing
necessarily
here for
grace is lovely
when seen
naked to the eye
a cartoon
of life will do to substitute
it
that
i
seek
seek
seek
sleep now and seek in the morning
for your strength has been weakened by temptation and your bodies vitality has been spilled to the threshing floor of demons. this week you have not known strength but you suffered it like a wounded soldier. Who has wounded you ohh soldier of truth, do you fight or hide behind books and laws and archaic ideals of truth once held high in esteem. When will you fight or when will you begin to release the arrow of your poison. Have you bitten me oh snake or just impregnated me with you words of impending doomdesesity. How long will I believe this appearance to the eye of all knowing I am suckered to know what I see of U. will you let me know different or must I invest the time of it all. I will continue to limp through all this regardless of the brothers that fall in fighting. me myslefhood my brotherhood. Ours is a cause of life for life may we come together in truth until I know the difference I will look after myself. this self must survive. must live in truth in harmony or maybe just with some food and friends and poetry occasionally to lift the soul. will I know prayer? Will I lift myself from this helplessness or may I degenerate it before it even leaves my lips let alone my heart. Who will know truth? Who will stand up against the body for the body. I will defend it but i succumb to it too easily. How may I return. Returning and turning and starting to try to be free of all this invested transcended and caring for apathy entropies and I am a weak weak weak one. in a many of appearance. who knows this and who knows me. Who are you to think of me in such a way. I seek seek seek. never ending only seeking for the sake of ultimate unity. I wish to return to stable ground. IGNORANCE. for peace and holiness in the guilty is not found or perhaps I do not look. How can I change myself to allow another? tell me world you secret and I will guard it for myself. I know no secrets for I blab them one moment always.
allways
all
ways
to now
Him
to know
Him
in all
ways
to fear
Him
and feel
Him
free
sight sees
a wonder
in a breeze
feels light in air
and touches
Him
every where.
all
life abounding
in veins
on the floor
another simple
mystery puzzle
life
asking
where
you came
from
where
you go
feeling some
time
not allwayis now
who can know
to hold the shaking
string of the world's belt
loopd round a
stomach of necessity
eating through it all
can I give up
to this feeling
not in me
to decide the fate
the feeling
seeing
not of in
of out
being
strong
conquered
again
falling
to my knees
for pleasure
crippling
loosing
grip of my
foundation
i am
still
here
once
again
thinking and typing and trying to make sense of it all. Not being blessed with a clear inderstanding I attempt, to uphold a vision abused for long sessions of objects made from people I may cling temporarily to tasteless vision but the good will prevail or unvail what i truly seek sleek beauty in the world revital vitils of flesh and spirit lighter than touch and hovering to air.
laughter abound in the halls of transcendent knowing. I hear only echoes of this dream . yet stubborn I cling to only hope that which I fantasize I realize is of naught but in time I know not how it will come but alas I know not how you will come or anything of that matter will come to be in my space I am here with what is presented and waiting for enlightenment.
work
struggle
freedom
work
little
eden
sweat
birth eating
bless curse
feetom
fatom foo ever
ending
now still onedering
isness less being
equal to pesto mustard screeching?
the words may be
the moment may seem
to be ing
necessarily
here for
grace is lovely
when seen
naked to the eye
a cartoon
of life will do to substitute
it
that
i
seek
seek
seek
sleep now and seek in the morning
for your strength has been weakened by temptation and your bodies vitality has been spilled to the threshing floor of demons. this week you have not known strength but you suffered it like a wounded soldier. Who has wounded you ohh soldier of truth, do you fight or hide behind books and laws and archaic ideals of truth once held high in esteem. When will you fight or when will you begin to release the arrow of your poison. Have you bitten me oh snake or just impregnated me with you words of impending doomdesesity. How long will I believe this appearance to the eye of all knowing I am suckered to know what I see of U. will you let me know different or must I invest the time of it all. I will continue to limp through all this regardless of the brothers that fall in fighting. me myslefhood my brotherhood. Ours is a cause of life for life may we come together in truth until I know the difference I will look after myself. this self must survive. must live in truth in harmony or maybe just with some food and friends and poetry occasionally to lift the soul. will I know prayer? Will I lift myself from this helplessness or may I degenerate it before it even leaves my lips let alone my heart. Who will know truth? Who will stand up against the body for the body. I will defend it but i succumb to it too easily. How may I return. Returning and turning and starting to try to be free of all this invested transcended and caring for apathy entropies and I am a weak weak weak one. in a many of appearance. who knows this and who knows me. Who are you to think of me in such a way. I seek seek seek. never ending only seeking for the sake of ultimate unity. I wish to return to stable ground. IGNORANCE. for peace and holiness in the guilty is not found or perhaps I do not look. How can I change myself to allow another? tell me world you secret and I will guard it for myself. I know no secrets for I blab them one moment always.
allways
all
ways
to now
Him
to know
Him
in all
ways
to fear
Him
and feel
Him
free
sight sees
a wonder
in a breeze
feels light in air
and touches
Him
every where.
Friday, May 06, 2005
The place of Law
Love precedes necessity, the connection is the essence, then the law becomes a strength. I am lost to the boundary. I am blind to the judgment. I am moving to the mothers fire. She is alight with love. Her words delineate the truth and uphold the very sacred. I can't always hear these words for my bodies fire is too bright. I play the role of holy man but really i hope one day to know. Being around them will rub off on me and then I will be one too. I listen but it does not mean I understand. I need this prayer to fill her with a life not of her own. She beckons me to not give up even when I know I am far. She is a mother to all life and in her all are born. The light is coming day by day in moments far from me. I hope for this everlasting life I pray it take me away. I want to know the boundary and why it all makes sense. If it is so then all should know his energizing love. To see him in the right and wrong and not call the kettle black. We should not loose site of him if we have the humor of the night. The laughter of waking in the morning sheds its light on absurd life. We stand in awe of each beat and each breath. We laugh at ourselves to not be overcome with frivolity. The gevurah exists only with he who laughs at himself for if not he does not know his essential nature and he cannot judge truly the delicate strings which bring his life every day. I don't see clearly but my will is such. Let me see clearly. Let me love clearly. I will manifest his existence and protect its delicate life.
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